I've never known a guy who always talked to his sword;
You've got saving roll bonuses clear accross the board.
You think you're a godling-you drive me up the wall,
You're a regular original, a do-it-all.
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special,
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else...

OK, so you're a 17^th level half-elven fighter/mage...

That don't impress me much. (Ah, ah, ah-ooo...)
So you got the spells, but have you got the touch?
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright;
But that won't keep me safe in the middle of the fight.
That don't impress me much.

aha yea-eh...

I've known a lot of guys who thought they were pretty tough;
But you go jugglin' cars like they were bits of fluff.
That spitcurl on your forehead shows you're one special guy,
It's never out of place, no matter how fast you fly.
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special,
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else...

OK, so you're a superhero...

That don't impress me much. (Ah, ah, ah-ooo...)
So you got the cape, but have you got the touch?
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright;
But that won't keep me safe in the middle of the fight.
That don't impress me much.

aha yea-eh...

I've never known a guy who carried so many toys;
Your best friend's name is "Q", you're the envy of the boys.
You love your gadget-coat, even sleep in it each night,
C'mon baby tell me, you must be joking, right?
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special,
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else...

OK, so you've got some equipment...

That don't impress me much. (Ah, ah, ah-ooo...)
So you got the gear, but have you got the touch?
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright;
But that won't keep me safe in the middle of the fight.
That don't impress me much.

a come on, now...

You're one of those guys who think they're real funny;
You get Maximum Boggled when you see girls or money.
I can't believe the stuff you keep in your back pocket,
A slingshot is OK, but a Saturn V rocket?!
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special,
Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else...

OK, so you're a cartoon character...

That don't impress me much. (Ah, ah, ah-ooo...)
So you got the schticks, but have you got the touch?
Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright;
But that won't keep me safe in the middle of the fight.
...
But that won't keep me clean in that long, last cream-pie fight.
That don't impress me much.

Okay, so what do you think... you're Bugs Bunny or something?
That don't impress me much.
[repeat]